Winnipeg and Thinking Through the Night

 

February 24^th – after midnight of the 23rd

 

I’m awake after going to bed early.  Its’ just coming up on 1am.  I guess it’s the 23^rd.  The conversations I had with people yesterday (or today depending on perspective) are frightening me.  There is a revolution brewing and I just kind of skirt around it with meaningless words.

 

I found myself a bit beside myself in these conversations with Clare.  We were talking about what may happen with the rightwing US government and I kept finding myself circling around to violence . . . It’s not like I want to see violence, because genuinely I don’t.  On the other hand it seems inevitable that there will be a violent outfall from the current politic in the US, and I feel like I want the future to just arrive so I can see if I’m correct in my assumptions.  The idea of non-violent demonstrations being effective rides on there being something of a rule of law in effect – a sense of morality that it would appear is lacking in the current raft of conservative politics.  This is to say that large scale demonstrations will likely be met with cold, hard murder on the part of the current government.  I have predicted that the Trump administration will at some point turn to assassination to destroy their opposition.  They’ve made it clear that they will use the justice system to kick the legs out from under any opposition, and have in fact begun to do so.

 

Rightwing optimists are convinced that this kind of behavior will not happen, and maybe because everyone is rolling over and ignoring all legal precedent they will simply gain control by walking over everyone  -  ignoring the rule of law as they are right now.

 

I’m facing this reality and I’m having emotional difficulties as a result.

 

Now it’s going on 2am.  I’m over the pretense that it is still yesterday and have accepted the fact that it is now Monday, February 24^th.

 

I can’t say that I’m a fan of rail travel (must I really say this again?).  Maybe I should hold off on a concrete judgement until I’ve savored the entire experience.  I’m writing this in a berth.  It reminds me of when I was a child and I could be under the covers, or in a box, or in a hollow stump of a tree and I would be on a ship, or airplane, or maybe a special conveyance of my own design.

 

I think that this mode of travel is a vehicle for fantasy.  This “Via Rail” has no WIFI, television, or they could conceivably put sound systems with ear buds like on airplanes.  Instead, they have Bingo, movie night, talks about the provinces we are passing through. 

 

My berth just barely allows me to lie down.  Also, all of my possessions are in the berth with me once again utilizing space that would be more comfortable without it.  We stop for hours waiting for freight trains to pass.  Now that we are through the Rockies the landscapes are flat and white with snow.

 

As far as people go, I’m a stranger in a strange land.  People are willing enough to have conversations, and I’m foolish enough to just shoot off my big mouth and right now I’m convinced that I am indeed from a different planet than everyone else here.  It’s not that I’m surprised, but there is a certain disappointment.

 

One of the difficulties of not sleeping when everyone else is is the fact that there will be no place for me to take a nap later after they have put my berth away.  Oh!  And did I mention it’s illegal for us to make music here?  “Mama don’t lau no guitar playin’ ‘round here!”  And neither does the main activities director, Martin  --  oh well  -  we broke the rules and I just hope he doesn’t kick us off the train  - even though I’m not particularly enthused about being on it.  Like I say, I don’t think the train is particularly enthused having me on it, although people have so far tolerated me and my big mouth.

 

Oh.  And about Claire Coulter -  she explained to me that capitalism is the only financial system that will work.  She may be working for the CIA although she claims to be a fan of Amy Goodman, and says she lives in Montreal.

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0183504/?ref_=fn_all_nme_1

Oh well.  Our instruments sound like hell anyway.

 

It’s 4 below zero

The snow is coming down

I’d have sworn I saw your face in a window

As our train rolled through town

 

You know I had to leave you

Like the times I left you before

Now your face is in every window

Ever since I walked out your door

 

Like so many times before

Put a candle in your window

Don’t change the locks on your front door

 

It’s four below zero

The snow is falling down

I see your face in every window

As the train rolled through that last town

 

It’s only 10:30pm  --  If I’m not mistaken we’re supposed to change our clocks forward another hour before we go to sleep.

I managed to have a short talk with Clare in Winnipeg and we were going to have dinner with her but it didn’t work out.  I was disappointed as I really want to get to know her better.  We found out that she is a professional actress.  She had a mild resistance to telling us that but is proud of the fact that she is still working.  I would guess that she’s quite a bit older than me, although I would have no confidence I would guess her age correctly.  I’ll get her last name by tomorrow.